we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
