The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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