My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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