He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
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afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
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Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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