Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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