Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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