i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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