No subtext here. People are naked.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
