she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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