The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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