brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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