dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
