Jerry, you need to find god
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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