I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
