question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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