What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
