Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
