is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
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So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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