You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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