I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
