you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
