It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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