Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
