i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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