I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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