Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
