He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
