Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
