What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
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WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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