I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize