it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
