Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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