stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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