it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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