Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
