Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
