you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
