I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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