i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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