So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
