I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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