so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize