tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
