i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
