I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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