Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
And then he peed in my hair
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