Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
