Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.