i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize