I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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