Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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