shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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