your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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