I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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