This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
