these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
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I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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