i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize