Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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