So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
