You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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