She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize