Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
