someone threw a dead crab at me
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
